Creativity

Light- I don't understand light, not one bit.  I know that I love it cause without it I couldn't take pictures, but light in general.  What is it?  I have no idea how to even describe.  Its funny the way God set it up because we can control it, we can turn it on and off.  But I don't think we'll ever understand it.  Imaging the creativity that came with creating light.  It heats objects, how is that possible?  We can focus it and light fires.  and with light comes shadows, how did He think these things up. 

I have no idea, I couldn't even begin to start to think something up like this. and then we think about everything that we have created by our own hands comes straight from the earth, so that field dirt you drive by every could be your car just as well as it could be a spaceship.  How did He know to set it up like that.  the mass creativity involved in creating something like water is amazing,  what's water, so vital yet so different.  We can see it feel it and just as well drink it to sustain our lives.  And lets not get started on our lives, bodies and existence.  Its all so damn creative I wouldn't know where to start, I'm still stuck on light.

  Think most important aspect of God's creativity to me is this, He has set straight things in me I didn't even know was wrong.  I remember the third week of January this year I couldn't begin to understand God or even if He was.  I remember being at a point of "If  nothing happens then to hell with this God".  That's the first time I think that I've ever let go, that's when God came.  I remember wrestling with God or this notion of what I thought was God.  and then I remember falling, not a lot else.  But what I do remember in those moments when I let go, and He came in, is this.  I remember breaking and hurting, I remember having memories and thoughts and ideas come to me that I never wanted to bring up again, and then I remember peace....  I don't know what happened I don't know how it happened.  I do know this though what I felt was a lot like what it would feel like to be many planes of different colored glass, beautiful in their own rights and all thinking that they were complete oblivious to what they would become if they had a worker come and put them together.  I felt like what it must feel like for those panes of glass to have the worker come pick up every piece of glass one at a time look at it, and then smash it on the ground.  and then in the time waiting until completion, it felt like all those broken pieces that thought they were rejected and thrown out for being broken even before they were smashed were taken one by one and put into a beautiful stained glass window.  They didn't even think there was anything wrong with them before they were smashed... but the worker knew much much better and knew just how to put them back as one. 

  I remember after all this smashing and destroying and work had completed there was something of a seal on it, as if God was saying "What I just did to you, this.. this is good my boy, and this is just what I had in mind for you.  This will change people and this will break souls, for me.  This is My life in you and this is My everlasting love for you. This stained-glass window that you now see.... this is My work done.  Now go and show others just what I can do".  And then a peace came, like nothing I've ever known before, its like when your so confident in yourself because your so confident in who He, your true Father, is.  That you don't even care about anything  except staying in that spot with Him, it was like the first real waking rest I ever had and it was good. 

  Creative- and even with all this that He did for me and yet I come back to Texas and start to fall into the same pit that I was in before, and to know that He loves me still.  Funny enough I think that I frustrated Him a little cause He said to me "HEY, are you stupid!  I just pulled you out of all this crap now don't go back."  Needless to say the point was taken and I've gotten away from what He told me to get away from.  This Creator, this Character, this Friend, this Grace, this Peace, this Dirt Field, this Light, this Water, this Most Faithful, this CREATOR, and mostly this Love is the most amazing Being that I have ever met.  and I hope one day for you to meet Him as well.  Just ask Him, He'll show up eventually  (even if your in one of those "to hell with God" moods}, just ask Him He'll be there, and better yet He wants to be there.         Just Ask